Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A wise man once told me


An analyst on my team, only months removed from college, asked me for advice on where to take a girl he just started seeing. Initially I was shocked and depressed that I am now old enough to be asked for advice. After pulling myself together I told the young whippersnapper to give me a day to organize my extensive knowledge of food, restaurants and wooing the other blogger. Below is a transcript of the email, names and email signatures have been altered for legal reasons.

From: my last name, Charles
To: Analyst, Young
Sent: Tue 2/22/2011 12:43 PM 
Subject: DC Food Spots

Hey young analyst,

I gave it some thought, here are my thoughts.....


When you are first seeing a girl, they like to be impressed with a fancy dinner at a restaurant that is on a list somewhere. They want to be able to say, 'he took me here for our first date' to all of their girlfriends. I took the other blogger to Willow in Arlington for our first date, and she always brings it up.

Central Michel Richard – this is owned by the famed DC Chef Michel Richard and is basically a working mans version of the uber romantic Citronelle, the menu is a French play on traditional American dishes ranging from burger and fries to frogs legs. great cocktails 
our review (I did not include this in the email, heaven forbid my team finds out about That's What She Fed)

CafĂ© Atlantico – new Latin, for my money the best of the Jose Andres’ restaurants, try Jaleo for tapas

Founding Farmers – food from the farm to the table, I half expect the pork chop to come with a name tag, great hearty dishes, menu varies with season, good chicken and waffles, perfect for the girl who thinks she is 'green'

Churchkey / Birch and Barley – Churchkey is the best beer bar I have ever been to, the tap list is extensive, recommend tater tots as a great bar snack.
Downstairs, Birch and Barley offers high quality dining, this is where we take people when they come visit our house

Drinks at one of those wine bars like Proof or Cork is always a good idea. Do some general wine research and review their wine list before hand, so you don't panic when the waiter comes to take your order. Also, if they only pour a tiny bit in the glass don't be alarmed, it is for tasting, pick up the glass swirl it around, sniff it, take a sip, put an intrigued look on your face and say 'its good' the waiter will pour a full glass. Don't chug the wine. 

Day Dates 
You can not continue to keep wooing her at fancy restaurants, it is not sustainable. Eventually you are going to have to go on some day dates.

Afternoon at Eastern Market. Walk around the open air market open every weekend, do not get annoyed when she spends a lot of time looking at jewelry and trying on headbands, go to lunch at Market Lunch inside the Eastern Market building, best crab cake sandwiches in town

Take her for an afternoon walking around Dupont Circle, stop in Second Story used books to show that you are an intellectual, mosey on over for a snack at Mr. Yogato, my favorite frozen yogurt place,

Taylor Gourmet, best hoagies outside Philly, not really good for a date, but I thought you should know about it.

Cooking Dinner
After you build a rapport over a few dates, it is time to show her your domestic side and cook a meal for her. Girls love it when a guy cooks for them, plus it is an elegant way to get her drinking in your place without the awkward 'wanna go back to my place' transition.

Salmon wrapped in foil, an old standard, aside from chopping a shallot, this recipe is pretty idiotproof 

If all goes well cooking the salmon, take her to the Tabard Inn for brunch the next morning, you stud

hope this helps,


Chuck Hagan
Some Big Company
my work phone number
Big company's email address
Please consider the environment before printing


  1. a wise man once said, "man with hole in pocket feel cockey all day".

  2. a wiser man once said "he who fart in church sit in pew"